"The key to happiness is having no regrets, even when you make the wrong decisions."
Hey, it's been awhile. So yeah... I've never mastered the whole "happiness" thing. Probably never will. I tend to find myself completely flooded with regrets. They hit randomly, often out of the blue, and stick with me sometimes for days. I think back on past decisions, relationships, failures. I can't ever forget. I remember things that I should have forgotten long ago, things that will apparently never go away... until night hits.
I absolutely love sleep, and I always have. It has a wonderful simplicity; it doesn't matter how much is going on in my life or how good or bad things are... as soon as I hit that pillow, I'm asleep. It's usually over in a flash, as I jump back in the shower and get on with my daily grind. But every so often, on rare occasions, I dream. And some small fraction of those dreams doesn't consist of nightmares. And it is in that fraction of a fraction of nights that I actually feel alive.
I know that some people believe that dreams have some sort of meaning, in a supernatural sense, I guess. I'm not one of those people. People often attach interpretations to dreams, and if such things hold any water, then I suppose my dreams would make me certifiably insane. I have no idea why my subconscious chooses the scenarios it does, but sometimes, like last night, the stars align. Sometimes my subconscious drops me in a world that fills me with a sense of wonder that I haven't had since I was young. I remember a time when the world was new and full of opportunities. That time has, unfortunately, long passed.
But as I woke up this morning with a sad smile, knowing that my dream world was gone forever, I thought about how amazing it would be if it didn't have to end up that way. How amazing would it be if some sort of virtual reality dreaming simulation could be invented during my lifetime? The great thing about dreams is that you're IN them and don't realize it. Those few lucid moments are just as real at the time as all of the previous hours of the day. I see no reason why technology couldn't eventually give us a new definition of the phrase "living your dream." After all, some have posited that our "reality" is just some sort of computer simulation written by a group of more advanced beings somewhere. That theory is a little too far out for me... But 50 years ago, the things we do and see today would have been completely unthinkable at the time. Hell, even 20 years ago, nobody could have predicted what the technology of today would be like. So who's to say that there won't be some amazing stuff in store for later. A man can... well... dream. Until then, bring on the night.
